Wow this is a tough week for this.
But in order to maintain my promise to myself, I am not thinking of people who don't like or appreciate me as a failure on my part. Instead I am choosing to view this as a shortcoming on their part. They can't see how exceptional I am and I am not to blame for that. I cannot control other people and it's a time waster to try.
I actually tend to try to do nice and friendly things for these people having still made the decisions and what not above. So I don't know if I just don't believe it or what.
I stopped myself before sending that comment to the persons webpage. I think that was a big step for me.
It's a tough lesson and I don't know that I am learning it all that well but I am trying.
Monday, March 12, 2007
Saturday, March 10, 2007
Chapter 10 Stop Juggling and Start Livinig
Ironically, this exercise came up this week.
My post in The Life and Times of the Contessa, titled "90 Miles an hour with my hair on fire" so aptly applies to this particular chapter.
Maybe my subconscious had something to do with it....
This week suggested that most of us juggle and keep a lot of balls in the air at one time. Just imagine Michelle Pfeifer in "One Fine Day".... She describes has life as having all these balls in the air and everything is working JUST FINE, thank you very much, and she couldn't possibly accept help and most especially NOT from George Clooney.
So you get the idea.
Cheryl Richardson suggests that we select one of the following list of balls and drop it:
Trying to please everyone
Trying to have everyone like you
Trying to be the star at the expense of your own life
Trying to do everything perfectly
Trying to do everything
Your reliance on adrenaline
So this week, I chose "Trying to have everyone like you."
Why ? you may ask. Why THAT item. Especially when those who know me know that I have a problem with every single one these balls.
Well it's like domino's. If I take care of "Trying to have everyone like me", I will also be able to better control "Trying to please everyone", "Trying to do everything" and "Trying to be the star at the expense of your own life".
So The next item I have to deal with is also explaining the way it plays into my life. Well, as explained many ways and times in the Life and times of, I am a people pleaser which is generally fueled with needing to be liked.
It's kind of weird that I feel this way because, in general, I am well liked. I have always had no trouble making and keeping friends. I have friends form evey phase of my life from Pre-K to my most current activities. So why is this so important to me when it comes so naturally?
The question should really be, for those that do not like me, why do I care? It has more to do my self esteem than anything else, why can I win over 9 out of 10 people and not the 10th? What's wrong with me that I don't win over the 10th?
So this week, I am going to try focusing on the good friends and people I do have in my life and worrying less about the ones that aren't.
I don't need to find the negative reasons why this person shouldn't be in my life, but I do find that I should look at the negatives as to why we aren't compatable as a reason.
I will give you an example. There is a person I know. Lovely, intelligent, caring, a wonderful and special person, we have so much in common but there's one habit I can't abide by. It bothers me that it was their decision not to continue the friendship, but I would have done the same thing in my own time and in fact, have.
And I see it as a personal failing.
So I am now choosing to look at this situation, not as a failing but more as a success to know who and what kind of people I want in own inner circle.
My post in The Life and Times of the Contessa, titled "90 Miles an hour with my hair on fire" so aptly applies to this particular chapter.
Maybe my subconscious had something to do with it....
This week suggested that most of us juggle and keep a lot of balls in the air at one time. Just imagine Michelle Pfeifer in "One Fine Day".... She describes has life as having all these balls in the air and everything is working JUST FINE, thank you very much, and she couldn't possibly accept help and most especially NOT from George Clooney.
So you get the idea.
Cheryl Richardson suggests that we select one of the following list of balls and drop it:
Trying to please everyone
Trying to have everyone like you
Trying to be the star at the expense of your own life
Trying to do everything perfectly
Trying to do everything
Your reliance on adrenaline
So this week, I chose "Trying to have everyone like you."
Why ? you may ask. Why THAT item. Especially when those who know me know that I have a problem with every single one these balls.
Well it's like domino's. If I take care of "Trying to have everyone like me", I will also be able to better control "Trying to please everyone", "Trying to do everything" and "Trying to be the star at the expense of your own life".
So The next item I have to deal with is also explaining the way it plays into my life. Well, as explained many ways and times in the Life and times of, I am a people pleaser which is generally fueled with needing to be liked.
It's kind of weird that I feel this way because, in general, I am well liked. I have always had no trouble making and keeping friends. I have friends form evey phase of my life from Pre-K to my most current activities. So why is this so important to me when it comes so naturally?
The question should really be, for those that do not like me, why do I care? It has more to do my self esteem than anything else, why can I win over 9 out of 10 people and not the 10th? What's wrong with me that I don't win over the 10th?
So this week, I am going to try focusing on the good friends and people I do have in my life and worrying less about the ones that aren't.
I don't need to find the negative reasons why this person shouldn't be in my life, but I do find that I should look at the negatives as to why we aren't compatable as a reason.
I will give you an example. There is a person I know. Lovely, intelligent, caring, a wonderful and special person, we have so much in common but there's one habit I can't abide by. It bothers me that it was their decision not to continue the friendship, but I would have done the same thing in my own time and in fact, have.
And I see it as a personal failing.
So I am now choosing to look at this situation, not as a failing but more as a success to know who and what kind of people I want in own inner circle.
Wednesday, March 7, 2007
Chapter 9 The power of Focus
My challenge this week is to determine whether I am focused or do I need to improve that.
The suggested exercise is one I have actaully been doing relatively ongoing. Each week I am to pick one project and devote a specific, scheduled amount of time to it. without mulitasking.
Now for those of you who like those meme's - the question that's on most of them that makes me laugh is "Do you juggle" and my answer is always - every single day. My job is all about the multitasking.
I can't dramatically alter that, though on my major project that is starting to ramp up I am no longer multitasking on those calls. I am fully plugged in and engaged as my portion is coming up quickly.
So what I have decided to do is a two pronged approach. I will be unplugging for the project loosely referred to as SSBP each week to do a certain amount of work on it as well as the project called GRIID. On a personal note, I will be unplugging and putting my full attention on my 30 minute exercize each day. Nothing will be interefering with that. It is now scheduled on my work calendar as an appointment so no one can overbook.
The suggested exercise is one I have actaully been doing relatively ongoing. Each week I am to pick one project and devote a specific, scheduled amount of time to it. without mulitasking.
Now for those of you who like those meme's - the question that's on most of them that makes me laugh is "Do you juggle" and my answer is always - every single day. My job is all about the multitasking.
I can't dramatically alter that, though on my major project that is starting to ramp up I am no longer multitasking on those calls. I am fully plugged in and engaged as my portion is coming up quickly.
So what I have decided to do is a two pronged approach. I will be unplugging for the project loosely referred to as SSBP each week to do a certain amount of work on it as well as the project called GRIID. On a personal note, I will be unplugging and putting my full attention on my 30 minute exercize each day. Nothing will be interefering with that. It is now scheduled on my work calendar as an appointment so no one can overbook.
Chapter 8 What's Fueling you
This week my take action challenge was to be aware of behaviour patterns that keep me hooked on andrenaline.
Here's my list:
1. I spend entirely too much time on the computer.
2. My schedule is very tight.
3. Health issues
One new habit I will cultivate this week is working on my health issues. I am trying to put more activity into my lifestyle. I am eating healthier, taking supplements, managing my meds and my skin and allergies. I am getting the required rest ( and then some).
My action plan is;
Here's my list:
1. I spend entirely too much time on the computer.
2. My schedule is very tight.
3. Health issues
One new habit I will cultivate this week is working on my health issues. I am trying to put more activity into my lifestyle. I am eating healthier, taking supplements, managing my meds and my skin and allergies. I am getting the required rest ( and then some).
My action plan is;
- Walk 30 minutes Monday through Friday.
- Drink 48 ounces of water between 9-5
- Keep my vitamin/med schedule consistent
- Add Yoga on Friday nights.
I get so excited at the end of each Chapter.
Monday, March 5, 2007
Five Energy Drains
I have been looking around for my five energy drains.
I don't want to fix what's not broken so I am really focusing on what would be helpful in not draining my life.
1. Organization. Not just in general terms. My file cabinet needs to be reviewed and reworked. The drawers of my desk are not being used adequately. My closets are just holding places for stuff.
I plan to start working on this this weekend. I plan to start with the coat closet in the hall. Second job will be the file cabinet and desk. THen the hall closets and linen closet. I am targetting the next few weekends and maybe a day or two off from work to start the process. I will buy the tools needed to support these changes.
2. Weight. This is a big one and its an energy drain and an emotional drain all wrapped up in one. I have made major strides already in correcting this. My plans to continue include walking 2-3 miles M-F. Any day that I skip will need to be made up on the weekend. I need to start eating wholesome foods, more veggies, less process foods. Vitamins, minerals all that. I have a good resource in Weight Watchers so that's my tool if I hit a bump in the road. I have a great network of friends for this as well.
3. Clutter in my car. THis is a toughy. I use my car as another closet during the week. I just toss stuff in the car and hope for the best. I need to get a couple of caddy's and bins to organize my music that I need to keep in the car and my CD's and that sort of thing. I need to make time to vacuum it and clear it more frequently. This starts when it warms up - right now it's dangerous to be outside in the deep freeze for long periods of time.
4. Maintenance of the car. This includes oil changes, license, registration, insurance,. inspection etc. Currently I am in jep of not being able to re-register my car come May because I need to get the vehicle inspected - no great shakes there. I have some financial mantainance to take care of as well and thats been started. All of this needs to be done by the end of March.
5. Last but not least, my home. I have furniture I don't want here, I have furniture elsewhere that I do. I want to get my home completed. I have half dozen half finished projects that I need to wrap up. I have to schedule some time and a due date and schedule the people I need to do the jobs. I have a mirror that needs to be hung, one that needs to come down, a bookcase and love seat to remove, a chaise lounge to move in, a chest to move out. A painting to hang, a light fixture to hang, paint the wall where the mirror is. repaint the ceilings, purchase new air conditioners.
For each task that I complete I will be scheduling a facial. When all five are completed I will splurge for a full day of spa treatments at the local Day Spa.
I don't want to fix what's not broken so I am really focusing on what would be helpful in not draining my life.
1. Organization. Not just in general terms. My file cabinet needs to be reviewed and reworked. The drawers of my desk are not being used adequately. My closets are just holding places for stuff.
I plan to start working on this this weekend. I plan to start with the coat closet in the hall. Second job will be the file cabinet and desk. THen the hall closets and linen closet. I am targetting the next few weekends and maybe a day or two off from work to start the process. I will buy the tools needed to support these changes.
2. Weight. This is a big one and its an energy drain and an emotional drain all wrapped up in one. I have made major strides already in correcting this. My plans to continue include walking 2-3 miles M-F. Any day that I skip will need to be made up on the weekend. I need to start eating wholesome foods, more veggies, less process foods. Vitamins, minerals all that. I have a good resource in Weight Watchers so that's my tool if I hit a bump in the road. I have a great network of friends for this as well.
3. Clutter in my car. THis is a toughy. I use my car as another closet during the week. I just toss stuff in the car and hope for the best. I need to get a couple of caddy's and bins to organize my music that I need to keep in the car and my CD's and that sort of thing. I need to make time to vacuum it and clear it more frequently. This starts when it warms up - right now it's dangerous to be outside in the deep freeze for long periods of time.
4. Maintenance of the car. This includes oil changes, license, registration, insurance,. inspection etc. Currently I am in jep of not being able to re-register my car come May because I need to get the vehicle inspected - no great shakes there. I have some financial mantainance to take care of as well and thats been started. All of this needs to be done by the end of March.
5. Last but not least, my home. I have furniture I don't want here, I have furniture elsewhere that I do. I want to get my home completed. I have half dozen half finished projects that I need to wrap up. I have to schedule some time and a due date and schedule the people I need to do the jobs. I have a mirror that needs to be hung, one that needs to come down, a bookcase and love seat to remove, a chaise lounge to move in, a chest to move out. A painting to hang, a light fixture to hang, paint the wall where the mirror is. repaint the ceilings, purchase new air conditioners.
For each task that I complete I will be scheduling a facial. When all five are completed I will splurge for a full day of spa treatments at the local Day Spa.
Thursday, March 1, 2007
Energy Drains
This week I am asked to look at 5 energy drains in my home and environment. I need to figure out a plan to address them and look to resources who can help me with that.
Now I had to laugh because in a previous time, I had done this exercize in this same book. My answers are still there and they are very different from what I am starting to let roll around in my house. My resources are different and my reward for completing this goal is the funniest of all - Get chinese food and rent a movie. That's a random Friday night for me.
And I am anti-chinese food right now...
Now I had to laugh because in a previous time, I had done this exercize in this same book. My answers are still there and they are very different from what I am starting to let roll around in my house. My resources are different and my reward for completing this goal is the funniest of all - Get chinese food and rent a movie. That's a random Friday night for me.
And I am anti-chinese food right now...
Absolute Yes List
This week the chapter talked about an Absolute Yes list. This list deals with your personal top priorities for next 3 to 6 months. It should have no more than 5 items on it.
I have been thinking about this list since Friday. It has had a lot of things put on and taken off. I have really massaged it down to the following - in order -
1. weight loss/fitness/health - I need to take care of this now. This is it, this is the time. It's MY time ( I sound like such an advertisement don't I????) and I WANT to be an AFTER ( HA! see)
2. My friends - I have different "pockets" of friends. I have my friends from Freeport, I have my friends from college, I have my music friends, I have my work friends, ,kiwanis friends etc. They don't all overlap - in fact very few do. I am tasking myself with maintaining them better. For example - I feel that my Freeport friends are slipping away. As a group we need to make more of an effort, especially now that 3 live far away.
3. Finish organizing the closets and drawers in my house
4. Stop working and sign off by 6PM each night. Unless I have a conf call with a customer or I am on call I will not be working at night. Additionally no more using work as an excuse for missing church.
5. Tidy up the loose ends in the house - mount the mirror, lose the bookcase and love seat, get chaise lounge moved in, remove mirror in LR and repaint, Hang wrought Iron candleabra.
I have been thinking about this list since Friday. It has had a lot of things put on and taken off. I have really massaged it down to the following - in order -
1. weight loss/fitness/health - I need to take care of this now. This is it, this is the time. It's MY time ( I sound like such an advertisement don't I????) and I WANT to be an AFTER ( HA! see)
2. My friends - I have different "pockets" of friends. I have my friends from Freeport, I have my friends from college, I have my music friends, I have my work friends, ,kiwanis friends etc. They don't all overlap - in fact very few do. I am tasking myself with maintaining them better. For example - I feel that my Freeport friends are slipping away. As a group we need to make more of an effort, especially now that 3 live far away.
3. Finish organizing the closets and drawers in my house
4. Stop working and sign off by 6PM each night. Unless I have a conf call with a customer or I am on call I will not be working at night. Additionally no more using work as an excuse for missing church.
5. Tidy up the loose ends in the house - mount the mirror, lose the bookcase and love seat, get chaise lounge moved in, remove mirror in LR and repaint, Hang wrought Iron candleabra.
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